


The Ocean

by Liobhan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Levi in the moonlight, Levi why u gotta be playin hard to get, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Military Kink, Pining!Eren, so corny and cheesy that it just might work, the beach scene we all wanted
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 03:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15185738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liobhan/pseuds/Liobhan
Summary: Suddenly, confessing your feelings to your extremely short-tempered and intimidating commanding officer - in the middle of the ocean - in the middle of the night - in the middle ofnowhere- seems like a great idea.As far as schemes go, this one is not your most fullproof.  Or well thought out.At all.





	The Ocean

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea for a mini ficlet and I just had to hash it out... Canon Era Ereri + Beach = magic. 
> 
> I'm only planning for this guy to be around 2 - 3 chapters more (long ish chapters mind you). 
> 
> Set after Chapter 90 of the manga. 
> 
> And yes I am still working ardently on _I Hope You Don't Mind,_ so please don't think I've forgotten about it ;) Please feel free to leave comments as well, I love reading them and I love hearing what you all think of what's going down. Enjoy xoxo

_Baby, all I'm gonna do is bring you down_  
_Under the water_  
_How long can you hold your baited breath_  
_Before you drown?_

~)*(~ 

 

Even in the face of his wildest dreams, this day always seemed so far away.  It seems almost too good to be true.

The day that he, Armin, and Mikasa finally see the ocean with their own eyes.

It’s like Armin always described when they were children; beautiful, blue, and spanning out on the horizon as far as they could see.  There’s a salty tang in the air, the water making soft, rhythmic sounds as it laps at the shoreline.

The next minute his friends are tossing their boots aside and jumping in, delighted laughter ringing out in the breeze –  a practically a foreign sound for all of them.   

Eren moves to follow, hearing the Captain suggesting that the water may be poisonous to a thrilled Commander Hange, who promptly ignores him.

 _That’s Captain Levi_ , Eren thinks with something like fondness.  _Suspicious of everyone and everything_.

The water is cool as he wades out to his friends, catching the tail end of what Armin is saying.

“ – wasn’t I right?  I told you so, it’s just as I said it would be.  Isn’t it Eren?”

They both turn to look at him.  Mikasa is smiling, and there are tears in her eyes.  One hand is tightly clutching the scarf around her neck.

“Yeah.  It’s…” Eren sighs.  “It’s beautiful.”  In the background he hears Jean, Connie, and Sasha’s squeals and yelps followed by loud splashes. 

Armin lets out a laugh that sounds a little bit like a sob, eyes shining with tears of his own.

“I can’t believe we’re really here.”

“Yeah…” Eren’s voice trails off, lost in memory.  He sees it so clearly; the three of them, young and urgent and hopeful, dreaming of all the things that could have been…

And in the space of an instant, their lives fell apart.

Eren thinks about all that has happened to the three of them these last six years, at all they’ve accomplished, all that they learned, and all that they’ve lost… and his heart feels heavy.

Their enemy went beyond the Titans, who once seemed invincible, the scope of their world so much larger than anyone had anticipated – and lay on the other side of that endless expanse of blue.        

For one hundred years, their people lived in fear behind the Walls.  People laughed at his and Armin’s dream of seeing the rest of the world, deemed impossible by everyday folk. 

And now, here they were.  In just a few years they had completely wiped out the Titan scourge that had plagued their land for a _century_.

Eren looks out across the ocean, a breeze picking up to toss his hair wildly around his face.

But they had come _this_ far.  They had done what others said they could not.

Who knew what else they could accomplish, given a few more years?

He looks around at his comrades, at their smiling faces, playing and splashing in the water like they were children discovering the world outside their houses for the first time.  Even the Commander seems beside herself with excitement.     

And then there was the Captain.  He doesn’t join in the merriment, but instead is watching over them with a faraway look on his face.  Eren wonders what he’s making out of all this.  He wishes he could ask him.

Despite all that their people had been through, they had survived as one.  They were strong, focused, determined.  If they stayed together, they could accomplish anything.

For the first time in a long time, Eren feels hopeful.  And incredibly thankful he has all these wonderful people fighting this battle alongside him.

 _Marley won’t know what hit them_.

With a sudden _whoop!_ he launches himself forward and heaves a mini tidal-wave crashing over Armin’s head, while his friend squeals out an admonishing _Eren!_

So he lets himself play, and the soft snort of the Captain’s laughter goes unnoticed.

~)*(~

That night they have a bonfire. 

There is a small forest near to the ocean’s edge, and it is here where they set up base camp. 

When the sun disappears from the sky Sasha sets the kindling ablaze – and soon the entire pyre is engulfed in flames. 

It may not be much, but it is a celebration of sorts.  They made it to the ocean after all – a feat those within the Walls deemed to be foolish, or impossible. 

There’s food, laughter, warmth.  Eren is content to watch everyone else converse and interact, feeling inexplicably distant and not really in the mood for this sort of thing.  Mikasa sits silently at his side.

He looks around the fire at all of his friends, and notices the Captain is nowhere to be seen.  Come to think of it, he hasn’t seen Levi in a while.

“I’m going for a walk,” he tells Mikasa.

“Okay,” she says, and moves to stand with him.

“No – on my own, I mean. Sorry”

“Oh.”

She seems to deflate a bit and sits back down.

“Okay.  Just be careful.”

Eren rolls his eyes.  “Yeah, I got it.”  Part of him feels bad for excluding her, but he needs to get away for a little while.

He picks his way through the trees, the light of the fire growing dimmer and dimmer behind him. 

Finally, he emerges on the coastline.  It’s a beautiful, clear night.  Millions of stars glitter overhead; the moon is brightest of all, hanging just above the water, painting the ocean surface with a pale glow.

Then he notices the Captain.

Eren can’t say why, but he had a feeling he’d find him here. 

Levi had waded out into the water, his back to the shore, with his head tilted up towards the sky.  The moonlight illuminates the pale skin of his back, paints a halo around the crown of his head.

Eren looks off to the side and sees a pile of clothing, meticulously folded, lying atop a nearby rock.  In it, he sees a shirt, jacket, cravat, a pair of trousers, underwear, and the strappings of a harness.  He swallows, throat bobbing with the effort.

 _The Captain is naked._   

 _The Captain is_ completely _naked._

Suddenly he feels hot all over.  It’s not really a surprise considering how much humidity is still leftover from the day, and the fact that he’d just come from the vicinity of a very large bonfire.

The nervousness is not as easily explained, however. 

So, perhaps he is more than a little drawn to his superior.  Perhaps he always has been but could never properly articulate this to himself.  Or to said superior.

Truthfully, most of the time he didn’t know what to do with himself around the Captain.  Frankly, it was embarrassing.  All he ever seemed to do was aggravate Levi and get in his way … but even through every irritated glance, Eren still thought the world of him. 

There were times he thought the Captain was looking in his direction longer than was deemed appropriate, feeling his eyes follow him through every new task and hurdle that he came across, remaining a steadfast presence ever at his side…

Which was why now he found himself removing his own clothes and folding them right next to Levi’s.

Swallowing his courage, Eren waded his way out to where the Captain stood, wondering (and not for the first time) if maybe he really was as suicidal as everyone around him seemed to think.

He tried to approach as quietly as he could without startling the Captain, but –

“Eren.  Fancied yourself a late-night dip too huh.” 

Levi hadn’t even turned around.

“H – How did you know it was me?”

“Easy.  You’re the only one who'd be dumb enough to actually join me.”

Eren  _thinks_ he detects a wry sort of teasing in Levi's voice, but that doesn't stop the blast of heat flaring up in his cheeks.

“Well, you and four-eyes.  But I would’ve heard them coming a mile away.”

Eren can’t help the soft laughter that huffs out of him.

“I can neither confirm nor deny that, sir.  You know the Commander much better than I do.”

“Hmm.”

Silence stretches on comfortably between them.  Eren sneaks a glance to the side and notices that the water comes up to Levi’s navel, while for him it only reaches the crest of his hipbones.  The water is cool and Eren closes his eyes, focusing on the sensation of it lapping gently against his skin.

“You know, sometimes I wonder…”

Eren starts, not really expecting Levi to initiate conversation.

“Captain?”

Eren looks over to him as he stares up at the moon, his expression unreadable.  A beat passes, and Levi sighs.

“Sometimes I wonder what Erwin would’ve thought about this, where we are now.  If he would have done anything differently.”

Eren bows his head.  Though the Captain doesn’t show it, Eren is sure the late Commander’s death dealt a great blow to him.  He wishes he could comfort Levi, desperately – but doesn’t know how.  

“I’m sorry – I don’t know sir.”

Finally, Levi looks at him.  “It was a rhetorical question, brat.  I realize you don’t have all the answers.”

_Oh._

He rubs the back of his neck, cursing himself vehemently in his head.  “Sorry,” he says again, voice barely louder than a whisper.  “But I wish I could give them to you.”

Eren nearly bites his tongue in half, a fresh blush flooding his cheeks.

Levi raises an eyebrow.  Eren has to turn away, feeling more than a little exposed under the Captain’s scrutiny.  Eventually out of the corner of his eye he sees Levi look up to the moon again. 

“I… appreciate that, Eren.”

Eren feels his heart crashing away beneath his ribs, much like the thunder of a horse’s hooves.

“One thing Erwin wanted more than the freedom of humanity was to discover the secrets of the Titan’s origins.” 

Eren watches the Captain’s face intently as he speaks.  Here, in the ocean of all places, Levi is opening up to him - if only a little bit.  It seems like something out of a fairy-tale, or a dream.  He wants to hang onto every word.        

“Right outside Shiganshina, it was within his grasp.  He was so close.  Then I made him give up on that dream, and go to his death instead.”

The changes in his expression are minuscule, but he looks… defeated.  Sad.  Without thinking Eren reaches out to touch him, to _comfort_ – only to remember himself at the last second and yank his hand back in a panic.  He doesn’t know how the Captain will respond to physical reassurance, and decides he’d like to keep his hand just in case.

“I’m sorry,” Eren offers again, because it’s all he has.  He hates how helpless he feels.

“Stop repeating yourself dammit, you sound like a broken toy.”

Eren flinches at the sharpness in Levi’s voice, and swallows yet another apology.  “I want to put you at ease Captain, but I don’t know what to say.”

Levi turns to look at him again, and suddenly Eren feels brave.

“At the end of the day, the Commander made his own decision.  You didn’t _make_ him do anything.”

Levi’s eyes zero in on his own, sharp and considering, silver glittering in the moonlight.

Eren swallows, and continues.  “He acted completely selflessly and sacrificed his life for humanity’s sake.  You shouldn’t feel guilty for that.”

He feels like the Captain’s stare is stripping him apart layer by layer until even his bones are being laid bare.

“Guilt is a product of regrets, of which I have none.”  Levi’s words are one thing, but his face is showing something else.  Even in the dark, Eren sees the unhappy crease between his eyebrows, the strange twist of his mouth.  Even the look in his eyes now seems dull, listless.

“You really miss him, don’t you Captain.”  It isn’t a question, and Eren’s voice is as soft as the breeze that’s ruffling at their hair.

Levi only sighs, but it’s as good an answer as any.

Then, as suddenly as the thought pops into his head it’s making its way out of his mouth.

“Were you two ever… more?”

Eren is deeply regretting it well before Levi fixes him with a glare cold enough to freeze over hell.

“What’s it to you?”

Now Eren is panicking.  “It’s – it’s not – it doesn’t - !  Um, nothing!  Sir!”

Levi looks more than a little unimpressed.  Part of Eren wishes the ocean floor would just open up and swallow him whole.

In the midst of his inner turmoil, Eren realizes that the Captain hasn’t actually denied anything.  This makes him feel all sorts of things, but if he had to choose one feeling that stood out, it would most definitely be the white-hot jealously now slithering up his spine. 

He never knew the Captain was even remotely interested in such things, he’d never made any indication.  But if Eren is wrong, and there is a part of Levi that _was..._

He needs to stop thinking.  _Now_.

Eren looks down at the water.  “I apologize Captain, please forget I ever said anything.”

Levi regards him for a few seconds more, then looks toward the moon again with a loud _harrumph_.

Eren thanks his lucky stars, breath stuttering out of him in a sigh.  He’d gotten off easy, there was no doubt about that.

His eyes are unhelpfully drawn to the Captain again, and no matter how much he chastises himself he can’t seem to help them from wandering. 

Eren has never seen Levi in any kind of state of undress, not once.  And now, so much of him is on display Eren is half worried that his eyes will bug out of his head from the sheer force of his glory.    

There wasn’t an ounce of fat on him.  Though Levi is small, his incredible fitness more than makes up for what he lacks in height.  In the moonlight Eren can perfectly make out the sculpted definition of his shoulders and his arms, his bulging abdominal muscles, the strength humming beneath the lines of his back –   

“Careful, you’re drooling.”

Eren starts backwards and meets the steel grey of the Captain’s eyes. 

His earlier embarrassment pales in comparison to the blistering heat currently climbing up his face.

 _Gods_.  And here it is – the moment where Levi thrashes him within an inch of his life, disgusted and repulsed by the feelings Eren has been harbouring all these years.

What he _didn’t_ expect, was for the Captain to just simply roll his eyes.

“Oh, don’t look so fucking stricken,” he says, raising one slim eyebrow.  “Subtlety isn’t really one of your strong suits Jaeger.”

Eren feels his mouth fall open.  His brain is trying to keep up with what’s happening, the implications of what Levi is saying –

Then the Captain let’s out what Eren _thinks_ is a laugh through his nose.  “Did you honestly think I wouldn’t notice, with all that staring?  Who the fuck do you think I am?” 

This is it, one of his many nightmares unfolding before his eyes.  He stammers for a good fifteen seconds, without the faintest clue of how he’s ever going to dig himself out of this hole and back into the Captain’s good graces…

When somehow, a feeling of calm washes over him.  He takes in his surroundings again, the endless water, the night sky, moonlight illuminating both himself and Levi (both of them _naked_ lest he forget), and Levi is watching him with narrowed eyes that’s promising him pain and contempt if he doesn’t start talking… but it’s all out in the open now. 

Eren doesn’t think Levi is one for romance but this setting could _not_ have been more perfect, even in his wildest fantasies.

He’s tired of hiding his desires, of skirting around the edges of his feelings like a lovesick child.  If he wants the Captain to have a modicum of respect for him, he needs to do this like an adult.

No matter how much it terrifies him.      

Because it’s now or never.

“Captain, I –,“ he takes a deep breath, “ – I don’t know the nature of your relationship with the late Commander, and frankly it’s none of my business.  But if you ever desire a certain, ah, kind of companionship…”

Levi is looking at him like he’s an absolute moron, and listening to himself Eren has to agree with him.  But he’s started this mess, and he was damn well going to see it through.

“… then, I could be that for you.  Captain.  If you want, um.  I wouldn’t mind.  No!  I mean, I’d like –“

“Eren, are you… propositioning me.”  Levi has turned to face him completely, which makes focusing on what he’s trying to say all the more difficult.  Levi crosses his arms across his chest, his face as impassive as if Eren had just asked him about the weather.

Eren’s heart is beating a thousand miles per minute, his breathing erratic.  He closes his eyes and prepares himself to meet his maker.   

“Uh.  Yes?”  His voice comes out barely louder than a whisper.

Eren waits and waits and waits, and still no violence is enacted upon him.  He opens his eyes and the Captain is still standing there, just staring at him. 

“So you wanna be fuckbuddies, huh?” 

Eren promptly chokes on his own saliva hearing that particular sentence leave Levi’s lips.  He starts to advance on Eren, and instinctively Eren is backing up.

“Um –“

“Let me answer that question for you.  No.”

Eren stops.  “What?”

Levi stops as well, once he is well and good in Eren’s personal space.  He peers up into Eren’s eyes. 

“Well for one you’re my subordinate, which means any sexual relationship between us would be extremely inappropriate.  I shouldn’t have to tell you that.”

Eren _has_ thought of that, but truthfully he doesn’t really give a damn.

His eyes remain locked on the Captain’s, unflinching in the face of Levi’s scolding.  Though he does feel his ears heat up hearing Levi talk of the two of them and _sex_ in the same sentence. 

“This is not something you want, Eren.”

Eren’s brows furrow in confusion.  “What are you talking about?”

“Exactly what I said brat.  You don’t really want this.” 

Hurt and anger start to simmer under his breast.  “I do!” he exclaims, but Levi only shakes his head.   

“You’re young and hormonal – these types of feelings are normal.  They’ll pass.”

“Stop speaking to me like I’m a child!” Eren seethes, too upset to check himself.  Levi’s eyes widen slightly at his outburst, before hardening into unyielding granite.

“To me you _are_ a child -,” Eren flinches at this, “ - in both age and experience.  And that’s not necessarily your fault.  But when it comes to pursuing people nearly _twice your fucking age_ , it’s not exactly working in your favour.”

As if to subconsciously prove the Captain’s point, Eren’s eyebrows turn down in prideful fury, his mouth curling into a snarl.         

Levi continues.  “Listen to me.  I _know_ you.  You’re strong-willed, loyal, passionate – but you constantly let your emotions take over and cloud your judgement.  A casual relationship would ruin you.”       

With a growl Eren is now crowding Levi’s space, towering over him and making him tilt his head all the way back so he can maintain eye contact.  Levi’s face is blank, and Eren wishes for probably the thousandth time in his life that he could tell exactly what his superior was thinking.   

“With all due respect Captain, I know what I want.  I want the Marleyans to pay for all that they’ve done to us; I want to explore the world and see all of its wonders; and I want you.”

Levi’s eyes go dark at that last bit, his pupils swallowing up the silver of his irises.  He opens his mouth to speak only to close it again, Eren greedily tracking the movement with his eyes.  _This is a good sign, I might have a chance aft-_  

“No, Eren.”

Maybe he shouldn’t be so surprised, but even so, something deep within him breaks.

“Why not?” he cries, hating the prickling sensation he can already feel growing behind his eyelids.

Levi huffs a laugh completely devoid of humour.  “There’s a hundred reasons why not, idiot.”

Eren can only stare, eyes wide and glassy, trying so damn hard to keep his lower lip from trembling.

“We’ve come so far; the last thing we need is to become distracted and allow the enemy to get the upper hand.  We can’t afford to lose our focus, not even for a moment.”

Eren never really thought in hard detail about how it would feel if the Captain refused him.  Whatever he may have imagined, the real thing was infinitely worse.    

But, more to the point – why wasn’t he allowed to both channel his rage into the wholesale destruction of Marley and its people, _and_ share the Captain’s bed?  

“But sir –“

“I said _enough_.  I’ve given you my answer.  Now let’s put this fucking nonsense behind us and get on with our lives.  Come talk to me tomorrow when you have your head on straight again.”

Levi goes to move around Eren to head back to shore, when Eren steps over and blocks his way.  (In this moment Eren decides that he really _must_ have a death wish.)

The Captain’s expression turns positively murderous. 

“Move.  Now.”

Miraculously, Eren holds his ground.  “You said that _we_ can’t afford to be distracted.  _We_.  Does this mean that you feel the same way, but aren’t willing to act on it?”

This apparent revelation is doing wonders for his confidence.  However, the Captain’s patience is visibly wearing thin.

“Eren, I’m warning you,” he grits out between clenched teeth. 

Part of Eren is fucking terrified, but the other half is excited, anticipating.  He was on to something here.  He _knew_ it.  Eren swallows his fear and barrels on, knowing that if he doesn’t get this all into the open now he’ll never muster up the courage again. 

“Rules or not, you can’t deny there is something between us, Captain.”  He hates the way his voice is shaking, and he tries not to let the anger in Levi’s expression constrict his vocal chords, and so he presses forward. 

“I – I see the way you look at me too.  How you look after me – “

“It’s my fucking _job_ ,” Levi snarls, and Eren almost takes a step back at the viciousness in his voice.  He’s like an angry alley cat that’s been backed into a corner, raising its hackles and preparing to shred its attacker to ribbons.       

But Eren’s angry now too, angry at how Levi can so easily just brush all of this aside when the evidence is so _goddamn obvious_.  Which means he’s going to say something stupid without thinking very, very soon.

“No it _isn’t_.  Your _job_ was keeping me from dying – or to put me down if I lose control.  _Not_ asking about my mental well-being, or giving me advice, or fucking _caring_ about whether or not I was having a hard time dealing with things -“       

And there it is.  Levi’s eyes widen, his face contorting in rage.  Eren’s never seen him this pissed off before, and he’s just a little bit scared.  But for some reason the command to _PLEASE shut the hell up_ is not making its way from his brain to his mouth –     

“ – and you’re, well, _Humanity’s Strongest_ , and I’m _Humanity’s Last Hope_ , and if that isn’t a sign then I don’t kno -“

“You are out of fucking _line_ Jaeger,” Levi growls suddenly, voice deep and furious.  

There’s a moment of silence, and then –

“Are you going to punish me, Captain?” 

The words are out before he can even think them through, rough and sultry sounding and _there’s no way in heaven or hell that just came out of his mouth_.  This is hands down one of the stupidest things he’s ever said.  _Ever_.  To _Levi_ no less.  He wants to punch himself in the fucking face – what the fuck was wrong with him?? 

Yes he’s terrified, but damn he’d be lying if their respective ranks did not play a part in some of his – ahem… _fantasies_ about the Captain.  Eren flushes a deep red as Levi stares him down, feeling like he can see through everything filthy thing Eren has ever thought about him, and Eren thinks that he very well may be sick.

Levi is going to kill him for sure now.

He waits and waits with growing anxiety for the Captain to explode into violence.  Levi takes a step forward and Eren _knows_ he’s going to hit him – and all of a sudden the anger seems to drain out of him in a single breath.

“I’m not fucking doing this with you,” he grumbles, somehow sounding more resigned and tired than anything.  Eren is still reeling, blinking rapidly in confusion when Levi shoves him to the side and wades past him.  The force of it causes Eren to stumble, and when he rights himself he turns around to watch Levi’s retreating form head back to shore. 

Eren’s heart is knocking frantically against his ribcage; discouraged yes, but he wasn’t done yet. 

“I’m not gonna give up!” he calls, voice going a bit hoarse when Levi fully emerges from the water, dripping and bare and _gorgeous_.  He has to swallow a few times as his mouth has gone dry, making speech impossible. 

The Captain shucks on his undergarments (still leaving nothing to the imagination), and cards a hand through his hair, plastering his fringe to the top of his head.

Eren bites his lip to prevent himself from making a frankly embarrassing sound. 

Suddenly Levi is looking out at him again, and he realizes he’s been caught staring.  Eren’s ears are on fire, but he’s still not backing down.

Across the water he hears the Captain’s _tch_ of derision and a lowly muttered, “little pervert” before he stalks off into the trees.

Eren finally looses a shaky breath.  _Well, that could have been worse_.

At least Levi didn’t hit him – though Eren was sure he was going to a few times. 

Although the Captain refused him, Eren had a strong hunch that there was more to Levi’s feelings that met the eye.  There’s no way he could mistake the attraction, the _energy_ that crackled between them.  He knew Levi felt it too, through the Captain was loathe to admit it.

But there was no ignoring those eyes, the way they darkened at Eren’s confession.  The way they traveled up and down Eren’s body in a manner that was indulgent and sensual when he was trying to plead his case.

One thing is for sure – there was still hope. 

Levi was definitely hiding something.  And Eren is nothing if not persistent. 

**Author's Note:**

> Song lyrics are from Michael Malarkey's _Uncomfortably Numb_


End file.
